eternity in a day

I'm at home on the couch after a long, strange day. I worked at the Mississippi location on a Tuesday, which is unusual. Being there, I always feel like time moves slower. There is less to do, less customers, and the store is so vast and echoey, gray cement and big windows, it's like you're tumbling around a giant corridor with zero gravity. Today was slower than usual and it was stormy and dark outside, which I kind of liked because it felt cozy. But it also added to that feeling of isolation that I get there.

I worked with Brian, a tall strapping fellow who seemed very uneasy today, which I found out was from the side effects of his ADD medication. It made him jittery and nauseous. Also with Emily, who is a quiet, quirky artist from Chicago. She and I had a funny discussion over bad gifts we've received as well as strange packages in the mail. I thought it would be a great collection of stories.

I've never had a job before with so much downtime. When I have time to think about things I start getting ideas about my life and desires to do all kinds of things like make more art and write memoirs and go on bike trips and then I remember where I am and feel sad. I felt like I spent my whole lifetime at work today.

It was still raining as I drove home. Benny was a welcome sight when I walked in the door. He had heated up the lentils I made last night, and we ate and talked.

Lately I've been feeling exhausted. In the morning, during the day, after work, when I'm laying in bed. A deep weariness. I don't like it. I notice myself using the word "energy" a lot.